NO NO NO NO NO NO NO
NO FOOD INSIDE THE MASJID INCLUDING (BUT NOT LIMITED TO): KABOBS, GRYOS, BURGERS, RICE, FRUITS, VEGETABLES, TEA, COFFEE, PIZZA, PEPSI, ICE CREAM, BIRYANI, CURRY, HUMUS, SAMOSAS, PEQORAS, CHICKEN, NOODLES, MOUNTAIN DEW, ROOH AFZA, AND ESPECIALLY LAFFY TAFFY.
EXCEPT: WATER AND DATES. YOU MAY BRING DATES AND H2O ONLY!!!
I’m going to go ahead and guess there was an incident with laffy taffy at this masjid.
Good reminder that every expert started out as an amateur
Not all of them
(this is impossible to understand unless you speak the language, and even then, I am a little lost about how we got to where we are, not translating this one.)
"They promised us 30 degrees Celsius on the weekend!"
"I don’t believe it!"
"It’s true. 15 degrees on Saturday and 15 degrees on Sunday."
"Once, a truck driver decided not to drink for a week to see what would happen and suddenly realized that he had come to this farm 10 years ago to just go fishing."
"How to disguise yourself as a cranberry bush and other methods of avoiding saying ‘hi’ to that person you know."
"My colleagues, we’ve raised this country from its knees! Now we must work to also raise it from its elbows."
"In this day and age, the only kind, beautiful and intelligent face you will likely see will appear in the mirror."
"On the fifth day of my diet I stared having some strangely sexual dreams… I’m in a large white room and I’m slowly undressing… I step over to the bathtub… and it’s full of borscht."
"I’m searching for relatives in Thailand, Egypt, and possibly the Caribbean Islands. I miss you so much, I just can’t stand it anymore!"
"Drink in the morning - be an extrovert the whole day!"
"Natasha was so quick about running away from her maniac that on the second lap, she caught up to him from behind."
if you wake me up by turning on all the lights, there’s a 100% chance that I’ve already started planning 10 different ways to kill you
when he pulls his pants off, immediately adopt a batman voice and say “WHERE IS IT”